Author: Marissa DeCuir

Grand Lake, CO–Based on a remarkable true story, Glenn Hileman’s “A Yellow House in the Mountains” (March 2024) honors the lives of his parents, Lyle and Marylin, who were lost to Colorado’s East Troublesome Fire, by showcasing the love, faith and determination which guided them through difficult times.

By the end of the day on October 21, 2020, more than 193,000 acres and over 400 homes were consumed in the East Troublesome Fire, Colorado’s fastest-moving fire in history. Lyle and Marylin understood living in their mountain paradise had risks, and their approach to the oncoming fire was consistent with their approach to other challenges in their lives–they faced it together.

An awe-inspiring novel based on a love story like no other, “A Yellow House in the Mountains” traces Lyle and Marylin’s relationship from their high-school sweetheart days to their 68-year marriage. Filled with a sense of the couple’s ambition and determination, “A Yellow House” will leave readers with a strengthened resolve to overcome life’s challenges and embrace life’s miracles.

“A Yellow House in the Mountains”

Glenn Hileman | March 1, 2024 | GLH2 Holdings | Fiction, Historical

Hardcover | ISBN: 979-8-9888228-1-3 | $27.95

Paperback | ISBN: 979-8-9888228-0-6 | $18.99 

Ebook | ISBN: 979-8-9888228-2-0 | $12.99

GLENN HILEMAN: Glenn is the CEO of Highmark School Development and has spent over fifteen years living in Bountiful, Utah. His love of Grand Lake, Colorado led to him purchasing his parent’s home in 2020. His family is actively working to restore the property from the devastation of the East Troublesome Fire. In doing so, they hope to honor the legacy of his parents. Learn more about Glenn at: www.yellowhouseinthemountains.com 

In an interview, Glenn Hileman can discuss:

• The lasting impact of the East Troublesome Fire in Colorado, which was the fastest growing fire in the state’s history
• Why it was important to tell Lyle and Marylin’s story, as the only two lives lost to the fire
• The powerful lessons he learned from Lyle and Marylin, and the real-life miracles that touched their lives
• Why he’s planning on restoring the property Lyle and Marylin lost to the fire
• What he hopes readers will take away from “A Yellow House in the Mountains”

An Interview with

Glenn Hileman

1. Why did you decide to share Lyle and Marylin’s story with the world? 

Their lives were filled with remarkable experiences that can inspire others. Through their commitment to one another and with faith, they overcame numerous obstacles in life and left a legacy worthy of remembrance. A love story, “A Yellow House in the Mountains” provides relatable examples of how to navigate life.

2. Do miracles really happen?

Miracles occur frequently but may be overlooked or mislabeled as coincidences. Lyle and Marylin’s story contains several examples of miracles. Some of their encounters were immediate while others played out over a sixty-eight year marriage. Their story will touch the hearts of many that look to understand our purpose in life and the role miracles play.

3. How did Lyle and Marylin overcome life’s challenges?

An unwavering commitment to their marriage provided Lyle and Marylin with the strength to get through hard times. They believed their relationship could endure through eternity and that working together, they could improve and grow. 

4. What lessons will readers learn from Lyle and Marylin?

Challenges and adversity are a normal part of life and often provide our greatest opportunities for growth. Personal improvement takes effort and having the support of loved ones helps facilitate change. Our potential in life is magnified as we collaborate with others, especially with family and friends.

5. What should readers know about you?

Perhaps the greatest written insights into my life are contained within the pages of the book. Like my parents, I lean heavily on my family and faith to navigate life.

Download press kit and photos

Marissa DeCuir

A former award-winning journalist with national exposure, Marissa now oversees the day-to-day operation of the Books Forward author branding and book marketing firm, along with our indie publishing support sister company Books Fluent.

Born and bred in Louisiana, currently living in New Orleans, she has lived and developed a strong base for our company and authors in Chicago and Nashville. Her journalism work has appeared in USA Today, National Geographic and other major publications. She is now interviewed by media on best practices for book marketing.

booksforward.com/about-us/marissa-decuir/

A remarkable account of public health advocacy in developing nations interwoven with vivid details of a rich, adventurous life

WASHINGTON, DC – Medical anthropologist, former Harvard AIDS Prevention Project director, and former member of the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS bares his personal and professional adventures as a rebel researcher and intrepid traveler in his stunning memoir, “On the Fringe: Confessions of a Maverick Anthropologist” (Black Rose Writing, October 19th, 2023). 

At a young age, Edward “Ted” Green rejected his privileged upbringing and was considered the “black sheep” of his elite family. Eventually turning away from academia, Green pursued applied field research to prevent infections from HIV, cholera, and other diseases found especially in developing countries across the globe, beginning in Southern and Eastern Africa and eventually across the entire globe. Green takes the reader on an intimate and thrilling journey through diverse corners of the globe, giving on-the-ground insight into the world’s most fascinating cultures, such as the Suriname Maroons (descendants of escaped enslaved Africans in the Amazon rainforest), “spirit mediums” in Nigeria, sex workers in Tanzania, Shaolin masters in China, and Samaritans in Palestine. 

With vulnerability and candor, Green also reflects on his notable career as an anthropologist: how he helped transform public health initiatives while battling periodic anxiety and depression and deep-seated Impostor Syndrome. He underscores the importance of outsiders understanding local, indigenous knowledge and wisdom as crucial tools in developing public health programs. He also delves into paranormal phenomena, both his own as well as those he encounters in countries like Nigeria.  

Green’s memoir is a deeply moving, expansive account of his adventurous life as a self proclaimed rebellious anthropologist– and his uncommonly fearless approach will encourage others to dig more deeply and honestly into what it means to live an authentic, boundless life. 

“On the Fringe:  Confessions of a Maverick Anthropologist”

Edward Green | October 19th, 2023 | Black Rose Writing | Memoir

Print | 9781685132965 | $22.95

EDWARD GREEN: is a retired American medical anthropologist, who has served as a senior research scientist at the Harvard Center for Population and Development Studies, later becoming the director of the AIDS Prevention Research Project. He is currently Research Professor at George Washington University. Green was appointed a member of the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS (2003-2007) and served in the Office of AIDS Research Advisory Council for the US-based National Institutes of Health (2003-2006).

Prior to his retirement, Green was not only a pioneer in the field of anthropological research on Africa’s indigenous healers, “witch-doctors” in colonial lingo, but he’s also considered a maverick in developing public health programs based on collaboration between African indigenous healers and western-styled biomedical personnel. He has guided such programs in Mozambique, Swaziland, South Africa, and Nigeria. His maverick status was confirmed when he was one of the first voices to argue against the entrenched Western condoms/testing paradigm of AIDS prevention, proposing instead a simple behavior-based model he discovered operating in Uganda, locally known as the Zero Grazing Campaign.

Dr. Green has been asked to testify in Congress 5 times and he has served on multiple boards of nonprofit organizations. His fieldwork notes, photographs, and tape recordings from his work with the Suriname Maroons, and also from work in several other cultures and countries, have been archived at the Smithsonian’s National Anthropological Archives, near Washington DC. He was profiled in Forbes Magazine in 2009. He is married and currently lives in Washington DC and Maine.

In an interview, Edward Green can discuss:

• How his upbringing in his highly influential family aided in his successful career as a medical anthropologist 
• His decision to depart from academia in order to directly advocate for others through his anthropological efforts 
• How his career positioned him to become one of the leading experts in AIDS/HIV treatment and prevention in developing nations such as South and East Africa and the Middle East 
• His time working on high profile public health committees including a President’s Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS in 2003

Advanced Praise for “On the Fringe”

“[On the Fringe is] a deeply moving, reflective, and indeed soul-baring account of his prominent family’s history and its far-reaching effects on his life’s extraordinary journey… Green’s uncommonly fearless approach to his autobiography may encourage other professionals to dig deeper and more honestly.” 

–Charles Good, Professor emeritus at Virginia Polytechnic and State Institute

“In this equally disturbing and uplifting book, Green lays bare the self-doubt that dogged his decades of high-powered and highly effective public health consulting… in this unique autobiography, Green’s clear writing about his peripatetic career is yet another of his many contributions to the social science canon.”

 –H. Russell Bernard, Professor emeritus of anthropology, University of Florida; Director, Institute for Social Science Research at Arizona State University, recipient of the Franz Boas Award (2003), member of the National Academy of Sciences.

An Interview with

Edward Green

You have self-identified that you struggle with impostor syndrome even though you have had an immensely successful career. What inspired you to write this memoir? 

I speculate in my book that this goes back to my expulsion from an elite boarding school at age 15. My mother seemed traumatized by this and reminded me quite often, accelerating  after age 15, that she considered me a failure and that indeed, she saw nothing but failure in my future. I was rebellious as a youth and liked to get drunk and hang out with undesirable kids. Yet part of me wanted to prove my mother wrong. As I began to take off at my career, I always felt deep down that I really was a failure, a fraud, and that the day would come when my colleagues or the general public would expose me as a total imposter.

What was it like to be regarded as the “black sheep” of your highly successful family? Did that contribute to your accomplishments throughout your career? 

I come from a long line of successful people, especially on my mother’s blue-blooded side of the family. I was undoubtedly a difficult child, one who today would probably be diagnosed hyperactive. My mother, backed up by my less insistent father, had my whole life planned out for me: Groton school, then Yale (my father’s School), then an Episcopal Bishophood or becoming a professor at an Ivy League school. I rebelled against all that and went out of my way to forge my own path. I think I told my mother once that I was starting my sociological research with the criminal class, then I would slowly work my way up to her class. But I was aware as I started achieving (unconscious?) career goals that I was gradually turning into almost exactly the son my mother planned for.

Why did you choose to leave academia in order to pursue anthropological advocacy, particularly for folks living in developing countries such as South and East Africa and the Middle East? 

This question is quite easy to answer because there had been a great overproduction of PhDs in the social sciences and humanities by the mid-1970s, meaning there were few academic jobs even available. My mentor Russ Bernard suggested that I do a postdoc that he knew about at Vanderbilt University and then go to Africa and write a few peer-reviewed articles about wherever it was I went. Then I would be much more marketable in Academia. But I took to applying anthropology outside “the academy” and I  almost never looked back. Then, rather late in my career, I learned about postdoc fellowships at Harvard for people in “mid-career” with important ideas about public health. I applied and was accepted to the Takami program, and then was asked to stay on as a senior research scientist. But wait a second: me, a Harvard scientist? I felt like an imposter, for real this time!

How did you feel after you decided that prevailing efforts at AIDS prevention were ineffective and that your findings and ideas would be anathema to most who worked in AIDS? 

When I began to criticize the prevailing paradigm in AIDS prevention, the belief was that condoms (along with testing) were the best means of HIV prevention. Those of us who were working in Africa should have caught on to the fallacy of the belief that greater availability of condoms would translate into lower HIV infection rates. I kept expecting someone else to point this out to the major Western AIDS prevention agencies and organizations. But no one did, and so I started my crusade against these misguided beliefs.

My own doubts began in 1993 when I spent a brief consultancy examining the Ugandan AIDS prevention program in-country. This program was developed largely by Ugandans themselves, without the dubious benefit of Western input. Then in 1998 I went back to Uganda, the only country at the time where HIV infection rates were falling. The World Bank hired me to look at and identify what seemed to be working in AIDS prevention. I concluded that it was partner reduction, or not having multiple concurrent sexual partners. But no one wanted to hear this (except Africans.) I was jumped on by critics who said, Green is now promoting “abstinence-only!” Some of my colleagues didn’t want to be associated with me anymore. I can’t pretend this didn’t hurt.

What do you hope that readers will learn and take away from reading your memoir? 

As I say in my book, I have trepidation about revealing so much of myself. I have encountered few memoirs by science professionals that delve into career setbacks, disastrous job interviews, fears and failures, anxiety and depression, deeply rooted feelings of being a fraud, an imposter. Such memoirs usually just list one career success after another. I hope that this book might be useful for especially younger people entering public health, anthropology, international development, or allied fields in order to know about both my internal and external struggles and not feel so alone, different, and isolated if they have experienced life events (failures, setbacks) and feelings like my own.

Download press kit and photos

Marissa DeCuir

A former award-winning journalist with national exposure, Marissa now oversees the day-to-day operation of the Books Forward author branding and book marketing firm, along with our indie publishing support sister company Books Fluent.

Born and bred in Louisiana, currently living in New Orleans, she has lived and developed a strong base for our company and authors in Chicago and Nashville. Her journalism work has appeared in USA Today, National Geographic and other major publications. She is now interviewed by media on best practices for book marketing.

booksforward.com/about-us/marissa-decuir/

Author Suzette Mullen reminds us: “It’s never too late for a new beginning.”

LANCASTER, Pennsylvania – Inspired by a tiny love story she wrote for the New York Times’ popular Modern Love series, author and writing coach Suzette Mullen is releasing “The Only Way Through Is Out” (University of Wisconsin Press) on Feb. 13, 2024. Introspective, bittersweet, and empowering, her memoir is both a coming-out and coming-of-age story, as well as a call to action for anyone who is longing to live authentically but is afraid of the cost.

Suzette Mullen had been raised to play it safe—and she hated causing others pain. With college and law degrees, a kind and successful husband, two thriving adult sons, and an ocean-view vacation home, she lived a life many people would envy. But beneath the happy facade was a woman who watched her friends walk boldly through their lives and wondered what was holding her back from doing the same.

Digging into her past, Suzette uncovered a deeply buried truth: she’d been in love with her best friend—a woman—for nearly two decades—and still was. Leaning into these “unspeakable” feelings would put Suzette’s identity, relationships, and life of privilege at risk—but taking this leap might be her only chance to feel fully alive. As Suzette opened herself up to new possibilities, an unexpected visit to a new city helped her discover who she was meant to be.

“The Only Way Through is Out”

Suzette Mullen | Feb. 13, 2024 

University of Wisconsin Press | Memoir 

Hardcover | ISBN-10: 0299345505 | $26.95

Ebook and audiobook editions also available

About the Author

Suzette Mullen is the founder of Your Story Finder nonfiction book coaching and a founding board member of the Lancaster (PA) LGBTQ+ Coalition. Her “tiny love story,” the seed which became her new book, The Only Way Through is Out, was published in the New York Times “Modern Love” column. Mullen is a graduate of Harvard Law School and Wellesley College.

Follow Suzette Mullen on social media: 

Facebook: @Suzette-Mullen-Author | Instagram: @urstoryfinder

Praise for Suzette Mullen and “The Only Way Through Is Out”

“With candor and deep vulnerability, Suzette Mullen offers a compelling, honest and hopeful memoir that examines the hidden truths involved in accepting our deepest wants and desires. The Only Way Through is Out is a lesson to all of us on what great things can happen when we act with authenticity and honesty.” — Jessi Hempel, author of “The Family Outing”

“I could not put this book down. Mullen shows us the search for one’s authentic self has no expiration date and is worth whatever it takes. This book is a glorious tale of tenacious courage that anyone searching for their own path in life will love.” — Jennifer Louden, bestselling author of “Why Bother? Discover the Desire for What’s Next”

“An honest and insightful delve into coming out later in life, The Only Way Through Is Out is filled with tears, laughter, and, above all, hope.” — Lara Lillibridge, author of “Girlish: Growing Up in a Lesbian Home”

“In The Only Way Through Is Out, Suzette Mullen reveals how she unearthed her true sexual identity from beneath a mountain of cultural, familial, and internalized heteronormativity. Swimming upstream, she emerges in midlife as the heroine of her own story, and as inspiration to any reader struggling to express their most authentic self.” — Robin Rinaldi, author of “The Wild Oats Project: One Woman’s Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost”

“In this courageous memoir, the reader feels keenly both the writer’s anguish and her emerging strength as she chooses between a safe, comfortable path and a leap into the unknown. With raw honesty, Mullen is willing to make herself vulnerable on almost every page of this story of poignant loss and sustaining gain, as she stills the external voices in her world and listens to her own truth.” — Mary Alice Hostetter, author of “Plain: A Memoir of Mennonite Girlhood”

“A memoir of discovering one’s sexuality and finding the courage to act, the book has a strong positive message for the many people who come out later in life—the late bloomers, as they are known in the queer community. Such stories are important, and this one is told well and fun to read.” — Lori Soderlind, author of “The Change”

“An affecting coming-into-consciousness narrative that burrows into the urgencies of queer awakening and carries its reader through the agonies and ecstasies of living one’s truth. Suzette Mullen masterfully conjures the battling inner voices that prolong the reconciliation of her Christian beliefs with the urgings of her body and heart. A touching, visceral story that celebrates giving into queer joy, no matter how long it takes.” — Alden Jones, author of “The Wanting Was a Wilderness”

In an interview, Suzette Mullen can discuss:

• Dealing with the fears of coming out, including family impact
• Starting over at midlife in your career, personal life, and sexuality
• Navigating “silver divorce,” and dating at midlife and beyond
• How and why it’s possible to be in decades-long denial about your sexuality
• How to discover and live as your more authentic self 
• How living authentically in your personal life positively impacts your professional life
• Writing a tiny love story for the New York Times Modern Love series
• Her work to amplify LGBTQ+ voices
• Her work as a book coach helping LGBTQ+ memoir writers raise their voices, write their stories, and becoming published authors
• Her career as a writing coach, how that experience helped write her own memoir and publish her first book in her 60s
• The art of memoir writing, how to know where your story starts and ends

An Interview with

Suzette Mullen

Tell us about the Modern Love tiny love story you wrote for the New York Times that eventually transformed into your new memoir, “The Only Way Through Is Out.”

While I was in the midst of revising my memoir manuscript before querying agents and publishers, I wrote a one-hundred word “tiny love story” for the Modern Love column titled “Crafting a New Life,” essentially my capital S Story in miniature. The tiny love story described a moment when I attended my first Pride event ever with one of my two sons by my side and contrasted it with a moment four years later when I returned to Pride with my wife by my side. I loved the challenge of distilling my story down to its essence, and I still remember the thrill I felt when I received an email from the New York Times editor telling me they wanted to publish my piece! 

Prior to the events that led to my coming out and attending my first Pride, I lived a safe, comfortable, and very straight life. Married nearly thirty years to a man. Mother to two young adult sons, one working on Wall Street, the other in college. Financial security. A home in Houston and a vacation home in Montauk. With the arrival of an empty nest, my husband and I were actively discerning what we wanted our next chapter to look like. Let’s just say me coming out and us getting divorced wasn’t on our radar.

Was there a defining moment when you realized that coming out would be the right path for you?

For me, coming out was a gradual process of unpacking decades of denial. I went through stages that are common to many who come out later in life: First, I acknowledged my attraction to a particular person, in my case this was Reenie, my best friend. I wondered (hoped?) that maybe “this” was “just her.” Then I got real with myself that “this” wasn’t “just her,” and it hadn’t been “just her” for decades, but I still didn’t know what to do about this revelation. Could I keep on living as I had, in a marriage to a man, presenting to the world as straight? Even after “sort of” coming out to Reenie, my now ex-husband, my sons, my mom, and my sister (“I think I’m gay?”), I still wasn’t ready to fully embrace who I was. It wasn’t until one early morning when I sat in stillness with a cup of coffee in hand that I knew what I had to do. I knew who I was. I knew what I wanted. And I knew I wasn’t willing to go to my grave without knowing that part of me. That’s when I made the leap and fully came out.

How did you feel when Reenie, the woman you were in love with, did not reciprocate your feelings?

When Reenie indicated that she didn’t feel the same way about me that I felt about her, my initial reaction was relief. Her response was what I had expected, and for a brief moment, I thought maybe all “this” could be over. Maybe since I no longer had to worry about leaving my marriage to be with her, I could go back to my very nice life with my husband and my friendship with her. But within seconds, another feeling rushed through me: fear and dread. I knew at the deepest part of my being that “this” wasn’t just an attraction to Reenie. “This” was an attraction to women in general and what the hell was I going to do about that?

How did your now ex-husband, sons, other family and friends respond when you came out to them?

While the hardest person to come out to was myself, it also wasn’t easy coming out to others. My now ex-husband initially told me he didn’t think I was gay, but over time he was generally gracious, patient, and accepting as I processed what was true for me and what was not true. For my two sons, in their twenties at the time, the news that their parents were contemplating divorce was harder to hear than the fact that their mom thought she might be gay. Other close family members had difficulty understanding how I could possibly leave my very nice and comfortable life, even if I was gay. One family member wondered if this was a phase or a midlife crisis. While their initial lack of acceptance was hurtful, later I realized that they needed time to process this big change, which would impact their lives too. Overall, my friends were very supportive when I came out to them. A few, however, urged me to stay in my marriage, to avoid hurting my husband and to “honor my vows.”

Did any part of you want to resist this later-in-life realization that you’re a lesbian and continue with your life as is just because it was familiar and comfortable? How did you navigate those complex feelings?

Uh yes. That’s a huge part of what my book is about! I had a good life. I was married to a man I loved. I didn’t want to leave that life. For a long time, I wasn’t even sure I was really gay—I hadn’t even kissed a woman. And seriously, who risks everything for a life they’ve been living only in their head? Especially someone like me who had been conditioned to play it safe. Ultimately, I was faced with this choice: was I going to stay in the comfortable, safe life I had built or was I going to leave behind everything I knew to discover this part of me? I struggled. I wrestled. I worked with a therapist. I talked to friends. But finally,  I had to decide whose voice to listen to … and the answer was my own.

Did you experience any grief over the “loss” of your former life?

Absolutely. After the initial euphoria of coming out, reality set in and I experienced bouts of deep grief, which I initially misinterpreted as evidence that leaving my marriage had been a grave mistake. My thought process was: I chose this new life; shouldn’t I be happier? The first Christmas after the divorce was hard as my sons and I sat in my sparsely furnished new apartment, nothing familiar surrounding us. I couldn’t help feeling replaced as I contemplated my ex-husband and his new partner living in the beautiful ocean-view house that used to be mine. Seeing Instagram posts of gatherings with friends that I was no longer invited to. You don’t just walk away from a thirty-year marriage that had so much good in it without feeling loss. What I’ve come to believe is that leaving a marriage and an entire life like I did can be the right choice and you can still grieve what you left behind. Joy and grief can co-exist. It’s important to allow yourself to feel all the feels.

This must have been a lonely journey. Where did you find support?

Initially, I didn’t know a single other person who had experienced an awakening of their sexuality at midlife. I felt extremely alone and isolated, with no one to lean on or to show me a path forward. One of many, many internet searches led me to a newly-formed Facebook group for women questioning their sexuality or coming out later in life. That group of 50 women, which eventually grew to 2000+ women from all over the world, became my lifeline. The Lalas, as I call them in my book, answered my questions, carried me when I couldn’t carry myself, and helped me see a way forward when I couldn’t see one myself. Today I count some of these women to be among my very closest friends. 

How did you discover, uncover and cultivate your authentic self? Do you think everyone already knows who they are deep down? 

Ironically, writing is what led me to discover and uncover my authentic self. While working on a different book project, I started writing more and more about Reenie, my best friend. One day I wrote about a moment when my fingers grazed her arm and an electric charge went through my body. At some level, I knew those words were important—and dangerous—I almost deleted them after writing them. Instead, I shared the scene with a book coach I was working with, and her comment about the electric charge moment was what set this journey in motion. “That sounds exactly like someone falling in love,” she wrote. She was right. There was my truth in black-and-white on the page, as obvious as can be, but I hadn’t been able to see it before. The words I wrote that day emerged from a still, quiet voice inside of me, a place of deep knowing. Everyone has a voice inside them calling them back to their true and authentic self, but it requires stillness and deep listening to hear that voice. It requires a willingness to step away from the noise of all the other voices and distractions competing for your attention. The answers ARE inside you. Your inner voice will lead you to your authentic self, who you are at your core.  All you need to do is listen.

How do you deal with the question many have of those who come out later in life (“Did you really not know you were gay?”)? Is it possible for people to be in prolonged denial about their sexuality?

I really did not know I was gay, despite ample evidence to the contrary! Despite crushing on a female high school teacher. Despite writing in my journal when I was a teenager that I was “rather worried about my sexuality.” Despite fantasizing about women when I was having sex with men. Despite wanting to run away with my “friend.” My experience is that it is absolutely possible to be in prolonged denial about one’s sexuality, and I’ve seen this same denial play out in the lives of many of the women in the later in life support groups I have been part of. While some late-in-lifers know from a very young age that they are gay, many others, like me, feel as if the revelation comes completely out of the blue. It’s only when we look back on our lives that we see the evidence. That we ask ourselves: How could I have NOT known I was gay?

Why do you think you were in denial about your sexuality?

I’ve thought about that a lot. I think it’s a combination of (1) growing up in a heteronormative culture and being conditioned to believe I was straight—being gay/queer/lesbian was not even on my radar; (2) not having any queer role models growing up—I wasn’t aware of a single student or teacher in my high school in the mid-late ‘70s who was “out;” (3) falling in love with the man who became my husband—if I was in love with a man, how could I be gay?; (4) family conditioning that valued safety over risk; and (5) in my late thirties, working with a therapist who suggested my fascination with women’s bodies might be a result of me not having been breastfed as a baby. Yes, a therapist really said that to me.

Do you think you were always gay and suppressed it or do you think you were bisexual before or sexually fluid or what? How do you feel about labels when it comes to sexuality?

Early on, I spent a lot of time wondering if I was “born gay” or became sexually fluid later in life or what had really happened. There was no way for me to definitively answer those questions, and later those questions became less important to me. What mattered was what I knew to be true about myself and my identity in the present. Today, I identify as a lesbian, and as part of the LGBTQ+ community and the queer community. Like many of my younger peers, I’ve come to embrace the term “queer,” which for me means “not straight.” I am most definitely not straight.

Similar to Glennon Doyle’s “Untamed,” your book asks whether a woman has the right to go after her desires when doing so throws a bomb into the family ecosystem. Can you elaborate on this? How did you navigate this? 

Women, particularly women who are mothers, have been conditioned to put everyone else first—their spouses, their children, their elderly parents. Sometimes that conditioning is so entrenched that we don’t even allow ourselves to think about what we want—let alone contemplate going after those desires. I grew up believing that life was about being careful, not making mistakes, following the rules, and avoiding risks. Change was scary for me, and the truth is that when one person in a family changes, the whole family changes. In the book, you see me doing everything I can to try to avoid causing others—and myself—pain, and ultimately realizing that, of course, there was no way forward without pain—for myself and for the people closest to me. My now ex-husband had no interest in staying in a marriage that was unhappy and neither did I. I finally made the decision to go after my desires, despite the cost to myself and others, when I realized that the only possible path to happiness for me was leaving my marriage and exploring life on the other side. I wasn’t willing to go to my grave without knowing who I was in all aspects of my life.

What would you advise others who have reservations about the impact that coming out – or in any way being their more true self – might have on their family or loved ones? 

Every day I see people in the messy middle posting in the coming out later-in-life support groups that I am still part of who can’t imagine how they are going to get unstuck. I reach out and tell them that I understand. That I was once them, feeling hopeless and despairing. I get how hard it is to be in that place. And the best part is that now I get to show them what my life looks like 7+ years on the other side. I may have thrown a bomb into my family ecosystem, but my family was not destroyed. It just looks differently now. Everyone is thriving in their own way, my ex-husband, my two sons, and me. For anyone worried about the impact on others if they come out or live more fully as themselves in any way, I would say this: In the end, you have one wild and precious life, as poet Mary Oliver so eloquently wrote. Don’t waste it by living a life that isn’t truly your own. The people who matter will embrace you being your truest self, although it may take some a while to get on board. Try to be patient with them. And for those who won’t embrace the true you? They aren’t your people. This is your one wild and precious life. Live it.

What would you say to anyone who doubts their ability to start over? 

First, I acknowledge that I enjoyed significant privilege in my starting-over journey: financial security, marketable job skills, and a generally supportive ex-husband. I don’t want to minimize the challenges of starting over when you don’t have these advantages. But what I can speak to are the fears and doubts many people have as they contemplate starting over—at any age. Somehow as a society we have adopted the mindset that once you’ve made your bed, you have to lie in it, and as a consequence, many of us stay stuck in unsatisfying personal and professional lives. You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to lie in that bed. You are more capable than you think. People called me brave for starting over in my mid-fifties. I didn’t think I was brave. I didn’t feel brave. But ultimately, I didn’t give over my agency to fear and doubt. I didn’t let fear stop me from taking a first step and another and another. And when fear and doubt threatened to overcome me, I called out for help and the universe responded. Friends took me in. Unexpected possibilities opened up. Synchronicities unfolded. You may think you don’t have what it takes to start over. I’m betting you do. I believe in you.

You’ve been in the ever-evolving writing industry since your first byline in 1978. In 2024, you’re publishing your first book in your 60s. And not only are you a published author, you’ve also had a successful career as a writing coach. How has the industry changed since you first entered? Are there old industry practices you wish we’d bring back? Likewise, in what way has the writing industry’s evolution helped writers? 

Long gone are the days when editors at traditional publishing houses routinely took writers under their wings, helped them develop their books, then sent them off on glorious all-expenses paid book tours!  

Maybe that happened for Prince Harry, but for the rest of us? Not so much. In an increasingly competitive marketplace, writers are now responsible for getting their manuscripts in the best condition they can before querying agents or publishers. This change in publishing is one of the reasons why book coaching has emerged as an industry, as book coaches provide editorial support, accountability, emotional support, and strategic help for publication path decisions and marketing. Today, authors are also asked to carry a larger share of the marketing for their books and/or hire other professionals to help them with marketing.

The good news for writers is that there are many more options for publishing than there were even a decade ago. The gatekeepers are still there in traditional publishing but with the advent of smaller presses, (reputable) hybrid publishers, and many self-publishing options, anyone with a reasonable amount of tenacity and determination can get their book out into the world.

How did the professional experience as a writing coach guide you in writing your own book?

As a book and writing coach, I knew how valuable it was to have someone by my side to provide ongoing feedback and accountability and to support me when the doubt demons inevitably whispered in my ear as I went from idea to first draft to revision and eventually to publication. Throughout all those phases, I worked with various book coaches associated with Author Accelerator, the book coaching community where I received my training and where I was certified as a fiction and nonfiction book coach. With my coaches’ support, and with my own understanding of craft and storytelling, as well as my knowledge of the publishing landscape, I was able to write a book I am proud of and land a book deal with a publisher who valued my story and my project.

Did coming out impact your career? 

Yes! For many years before I began to question my sexuality, I struggled to find my right-fit professional path. The road from Harvard Law School to author and book coach was winding, often frustrating, sometimes satisfying, but never felt fully aligned until I was aligned in my personal life.  After I came out and was living more authentically, I opened myself up to professional opportunities that were aligned with my gifts and my values. The work I do with writers, especially LGBTQ+ memoir writers, brings me great joy and is the work I was born to do. It just took me a while to get there. 

Can you tell us more about “Your Story Finder,” where your mission is to amplify LGBTQ+ voices? 

Your Story Finder is the name of my book coaching business, where I help LGBTQ+ writers and allies raise their voices, write their stories, and become published authors. As an LGBTQ+ author and advocate, I’m aware of the urgency to get more real-life LGBTQ+ stories out in the world in today’s political climate, and of the barriers that prevent those stories from being told. To address this issue, I’ve created an accessibly-priced group coaching mentorship program called Write Yourself Out exclusively for LGBTQ+ memoir and nonfiction writers. Inside that mentorship program, I provide a safe space and judgment-free zone where queer writers can be vulnerable in community and not have to explain themselves, in addition to providing editorial support and strategic guidance about publication. 

Can you tell us more about your other activism efforts, including being a founding member of The Lancaster LGBTQ+ Coalition? 

I’ve been engaged in social justice work for decades, and I put my experience to work soon after I came out and moved to Lancaster, PA. At the time, the City of Lancaster and surrounding county did not have a center or an organization dedicated to serving the LGBTQ+ community. With other community members, I began to discuss the possibility of founding a non-profit to promote a more equitable Lancaster County where all could live courageous, full, and authentic lives. After months of conversation, planning, fundraising, and organizing, the Lancaster LGBTQ+ Coalition was founded in early 2019. I had the privilege of serving the Coalition as a founding board member and later as an adviser. Today I serve on the advisory committee of the Lancaster LGBTQ+ Giving Circle, which oversees grants to LGBTQ+ related projects throughout Lancaster County. 

Download press kit and photos

Marissa DeCuir

A former award-winning journalist with national exposure, Marissa now oversees the day-to-day operation of the Books Forward author branding and book marketing firm, along with our indie publishing support sister company Books Fluent.

Born and bred in Louisiana, currently living in New Orleans, she has lived and developed a strong base for our company and authors in Chicago and Nashville. Her journalism work has appeared in USA Today, National Geographic and other major publications. She is now interviewed by media on best practices for book marketing.

booksforward.com/about-us/marissa-decuir/

Ann Arbor, MI–Michigan Medicine CEO and Dean of the University of Michigan Medical School, Dr. Marschall Runge, warns of the dangers rooted in the advancement of medical technology in his new ripped-from-headlines thriller, “Coded to Kill” (Post Hill Press, June 13, 2023).

About the book: Is medicine’s greatest breakthrough also the world’s most efficient killing machine? After a decade of development, the cutting-edge Electronic Health Records system is about to become the national standard. Housing the real-time medical records of every American, the EHR system will enable doctors to access records with a keystroke and issue life-or-death medical orders with a finger swipe.

No one wants the EHR to succeed more than Hugh Torrence, a former NSA honcho who sees the system as a tool for unimaginable and unaccountable power. The only thing standing in his way is a loose-knit group of Drexel employees with conflicting agendas and questionable loyalties. While they search for answers, the suspicious patient deaths keep mounting…and the target on their back grows larger.

“Coded to Kill”

Marschall Runge | June 13, 2023 | Post Hill Press | Fiction, Thriller

Hardcover | ISBN: 978-1637589274 | $30.00

Paperback | ISBN: 978-1637589250 | $18.99 

Ebook | ASIN: B0C83Q9624 | $7.99

Praise for Coded to Kill…

“A beautifully written, complex mix of medical drama, espionage story, and hi-tech skulduggery, ‘Coded to Kill’ is a thrilling read under the guidance of someone who knows what he is talking about, and never fails to enthrall with its detail and deft plotting.”

–Iain Pears, author of “An Instance of the Fingerpost” and “The Dream of Scipio”

“Dr. Marschall Runge gives us both a heart-stopping thriller and a searing indictment of the degree to which technology has sapped the soul of medicine and handed it to the technocracy.”

–Holden Thorp, Editor-in-Chief, Science Family of Journals

About the Author…

MARSCHALL RUNGE, MD, PhD, is the executive vice president for Medical Affairs at the University of Michigan, dean of the Medical School, and CEO of Michigan Medicine. He earned his doctorate in molecular biology at Vanderbilt University and his medical degree from Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, where he also completed a residency in internal medicine. He was a cardiology fellow at the Massachusetts General Hospital. He is the author of over 250 publications and holds five patents for novel approaches to health care. As a Texas native who spent fifteen years in North Carolina and an avid thriller reader, Runge has experienced so many you-can’t-make-this-up events that his transition to fiction was inevitable.

In an interview, Marschall Runge can discuss:

• The benefits and drawbacks of the mass collection of medical records
• How the medical industry should be approaching privacy concerns
• Whether or not AI has a place in the medical realm
• How much of “Coded to Kill” is grounded in reality
• What’s next for his author career

An Interview with

Marschall Runge

1. Where did the idea for “Coded to Kill” originate from? 

Two words: aggravation and imagination. Like many physicians – I’m a cardiologist – I found the transition to electronic health records (EHRs) to be problematic because they increased our paperwork and diverted attention from patients. As a hospital administrator, I learned more about the power of EHRs – they do improve communication between healthcare providers and make previously illegible notes now legible. But there is little evidence that, overall, EHRs have reduced medical errors, which was their promise. And protected health information (PHI), which previously had to be obtained in written medical records, is now on-line and accessible both to all who have access to these records, as well as to nefarious characters cruising the internet for private information. With these ideas swirling in my mind, and having read too many thrillers, it occurred to me that a novel hinged on the promise and perils of emerging medical technologies would be a fun and effective way to share my concerns with the public.

2. What are your thoughts on recent ransomware attacks on hospitals and how does this phenomenon relate to “Coded to Kill”?

Ransomware attacks – where hackers steal or take control of vital systems and information – are a growing threat to public safety and health. Hospitals are an especially attractive target because we must maintain highly detailed and organized information on those we care far and because our work truly involves life and death stakes. Though the potential risks of online medical records are heightened in “Coded To Kill,” it is important that everyone who uses EHRs and/or have their information contained in them understand their vulnerabilities. In “Coded to Kill,” the action of my “heroes” provide a realistic hope that we can fight back.

3. How should the medical industry approach privacy concerns?

Hospitals have a sacred duty to safeguard Protected Health Information (PHI) even as we face challenges not just from malevolent hackers, but, ironically, from our own decision to improve patient care (and generate revenue). “Data aggregators” like Google offer tens of millions of dollars for access to large medical record databases and high quality information that can be used to devise new diagnostic tools and treatments. “Coded To Kill” illustrates a reality – that some of these arrangements become deals with the devil as “anonymous” patient records can, in some circumstances, be de-anonymized. I am proud to say that Michigan Medicine has become a leader in implementing programs to thoroughly evaluate and vet these requests.

4. In the medical field, do the pros of technological advancements outweigh the cons? Is there a clear path for mitigating the negative effects of progress?

I am convinced that medicine is on the edge of a golden age of innovation that will deliver lifesaving and life-enhancing results to patients around the world. Technological advances are already resulting in amazing therapies and many diseases that were untreatable when I began my career four decades ago can now be cured. A major problem, which “Coded To Kill” illustrates, is that technology can also be hijacked by bad actors. These vast changes also create another problem: the opportunity of fraudsters such as Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos to exploit this hope to peddle high-tech versions of snake oil that hurt those who need help.

5. In your opinion, does the future of medicine involve AI?

Absolutely. Generative AI and deep machine learning are already providing amazing advances in drug discovery, diagnosis and prevention. When I began my career, it took months or even years for advanced medicinal chemists to identify a small number of compounds they could modify and test to inhibit key disease pathways. Just within the last year, AI/ML algorithms have been developed that can generate more than one million new structures a day. But, like the advanced EHR featured in “Coded To Kill,” we never forget that machines are tools that must be used and controlled by human beings, who possess a conscience and morals. We are the secret sauce of innovation.

6. What’s next for you?

My experience writing “Coded To Kill” has convinced me that novels provide a great opportunity to bring important medical issues to life – to start meaningful conversations with the people we care for. I am working on a second novel that revolves around an extraordinary investigator using AI to discover secrets that seem to reverse aging. But shortcuts were taken, data was faked, and terrible outcomes in an illicit clinical trial involving prisoners were suppressed…. you get the picture. As with “Coded to Kill,” I will use real-life examples as a starting place for each of these themes.

Marissa DeCuir

A former award-winning journalist with national exposure, Marissa now oversees the day-to-day operation of the Books Forward author branding and book marketing firm, along with our indie publishing support sister company Books Fluent.

Born and bred in Louisiana, currently living in New Orleans, she has lived and developed a strong base for our company and authors in Chicago and Nashville. Her journalism work has appeared in USA Today, National Geographic and other major publications. She is now interviewed by media on best practices for book marketing.

booksforward.com/about-us/marissa-decuir/

In her vulnerable new book – part memoir, part self-help – Wen Peetes urges readers to listen to the messages living inside their feelings, so they can become the home they never want to run away from

DEERFIELD BEACH, Florida – In her upcoming book, “Inner Child Healing” (Rebel For a Spell Press, Jan. 11, 2024) Wen Peetes reminds trauma survivors they’re never too old to heal.

Trash the lies you’re tempted to believe, trauma survivors. You are not worthless, you are not too damaged, and you are never too old to heal. Reclaim your power! You were born worthy of living the life you love.       

If you’re stuck in believing you’ll never heal from negative experiences, if you’re on your healing journey already, or if you simply dream of feeling good about yourself, “Inner Child Healing” is your spring.

This self-reflective guide to overcoming trauma teaches:

• How Wen Peetes went from being flattened by the shame of childhood sexual and physical abuse to living her dreams.
• How to trade fear for hope and keep fighting as warriors for your healing, your freedom!
• How to overcome feelings of low self-worth and negative thoughts, how to set boundaries, and how to speak up for yourself.
• How to stop self-criticism, forgive yourself, and become the love of your life.
  

Whoever you are, gladiator of inner healing, if you are fed up with being stuck in the cycle of trauma, this book is for you!

“Inner Child Healing: 

Heal Your Wounds. Train Your Mind. Create A New You.”

Wen Peetes | Jan. 11, 2024 | Rebel for a Spell Press | Non-Fiction / Self-Help 

Hardcover | ISBN: 9798985963014 | $19.99 

Ebook | $10.99 

Audiobook | $24.99

About the Author

Wen Peetes is a coach, mentor and speaker who helps women become powerful decision makers, so they never have to doubt themselves again.  With her popular Instagram @rebelforaspell, Wen continues to expand her reach through her daily content and by sharing tools of transformation with tailored offerings including, her private one-on-one coaching program (Born Divinely Worthy), her VIP Retreat and her group mentorship program (Self-Divine Healing Accelerator).  Wen is also a songwriter, singer and a producer, releasing the album Woman Empowered under her moniker, Wendy St. Kitts, and singles under Violins For Milk.  

As a survivor of childhood trauma and abuse, Wen found herself trying to break free from the negative cycle that left her feeling stuck, helpless, and hopeless. Through a series of life-changing events, she found the courage to embrace her darkest secret and the resilience to turn pain into purpose. In this self-reflective book, Wen gently encourages you to address past childhood trauma wounds and adverse experiences that may cause you to doubt your worth.  You may recognize the lasting impact of negative experiences on your relationships with others and yourself. You, too, can become the co-creator of the life you never want to run away from, by becoming the fullest expression of yourself: feeling whole, confident, and peacefully free to live a vibrant authentic life. For more information, visit www.rebelforaspell.com

Follow Wen Peetes on social media:

Facebook: @rebelforaspell | Instagram: @rebelforaspell | Threads: @rebelforaspell

In an interview, Wen Peetes can discuss:

• The importance of your relationship with yourself and how to develop and tend to that relationship
• Her personal journey from shame rooted in abuse to living her dreams
• Identifying shame-based thinking and how to overcome it
• Healing at all ages and stages
• Identifying and setting boundaries
• The art of forgiving yourself 
• Healing as a journey and destination
• How to tap into and not betray your intuition 
• Replacing fear with hope
• Breaking the cycle of trauma
• Persevering through the lowest points in your healing journey

An Interview with

Wen Peetes

Before we dive into everything else, can you tell us a little about yourself and your journey to healing?

I am a spiritual woman who is profoundly grateful to be living my life’s purpose. I don’t take anything for granted, not even breath. At a young age, I discovered an unfiltered form of expression, which I trusted less and less as I became an adult. Now, after a hard-won healing journey, I have reconnected to the source of that expression (my intuition). And it has led me to you. This same “source” nudged me to leave my home island of St. Kitts and eventually, it divined my self-healing from childhood abuse and trauma.  Today, as an Intuitive healing coach, I have the honor of serving other gladiators of inner healing, helping them to become powerful decision makers, so they never have to doubt themselves again.

How does your book explore the concept of tapping into your inner child?

As children, we are filled with wonder and curiosity about pretty much everything. And that fosters a ripe courage within us, to try something new and different, and to ask questions. This book invites us to reconnect with the wonder, wisdom and divine intelligence of our inner feelings, i.e., our intuitive nudge. 

Because sometimes we have to go all the way back – as close as we could get to our “first creation” that is, our earliest period of development, so that we can:

• Heal our wounds
• Retrain our minds and hearts
• And this rebirth,  creates a new you

And then, our adult-self is encouraged to unlatch from cultural norms and archaic beliefs, which mandate who we are expected to be or who we should be. And with that courage we learn to stop running away from our “why” (i.e. “why we think, feel, act and believe certain things to be true”). We tenderly soothe ourselves, letting go of the anger, shame and resentment etc.. And then, we learn to be more gentle and loving towards ourselves.

Was it difficult for you to revisit your childhood trauma while writing this book? Why was it important for you to write about?

At times, yes.  In the difficult moments of writing this book, I was “revived” by the privilege and the responsibility to help others heal the self-doubt that’s keeping them stuck to a low-energy power source (i.e. fear, shame, self-doubt). I know it is my sacred duty to help others with the work I am called to do via this book, my music, coaching, etc. And so, I became emboldened with this mission – that others deserve to “become” their great freedom.

What kept you going, even at your lowest points in your healing journey?

I felt a pull from a source far greater than myself. An intuitive inner feeling that was deposited into me – that helped me understand – I was here in this world to do “something” to help myself and others. This feeling was unnamed, and yet so profound. And this feeling became a knowing that “life” was not done with me yet.  

From this low point, I discovered what I know to be true about creation (i.e. the life you love and want to experience). That is, your feelings direct the choices you believe are available – from which you make a selection.  Your feelings direct the decisions you make, (based on the choices you’ve selected). Your feelings are automatically hinged to what you believe about yourself.  Your feelings direct your actions.

We have so much more power than we believe.  I invite you to have mercy on yourself.  That grace will give you the courage to become – what you need most. 

Is it ever “too late” for someone to heal? How would you encourage people who are feeling defeated in their mental health journey? 

There is always hope, as long as you are breathing. And don’t be afraid or ashamed to raise your hand and seek help when you need it. That right there, is you – exercising your divine power. 

Many of us don’t have examples of what healing or a peaceful and fulfilled life could look like or could be like. And so, sometimes we have to “borrow” that which we crave and long for.  

That’s why I encourage my clients to create a healthy healing space. You can create that safe space too. So, turn off your phone. Step away from your computer. Sit in nature or look out your window. And listen, draw, scribble, write. Or, do absolutely nothing. Just breathe.

What is an intuitive healing coach, and why did you choose that profession?

Essentially, I am a guide who helps trauma survivors and others who’ve had adverse experiences to heal the self-doubt that keeps them from creating the life that fully supports them. Because, whether we realize it or not, we are all on a healing journey. Every day, we come up against a life-test that tempts us into betraying our values and our intuition because life is about the game called change. So inherently, with our heightened self-awareness as we heal, we will discover changes within ourselves that we need to make, in order to keep our healing promise to ourselves. 

This profession chose me. I’ve been mentoring since I was in my 20s. It began while I was working in the corporate world, where I witnessed myself and so many women and men believing they didn’t have a choice in the way they were being treated professionally or personally. We were betraying our intuition and sacrificing ourselves in order to be accepted and approved by others. 

You’re also a talented songwriter. Can you tell us about that?

Ah, songwriting is a divine gift that was deposited into my spirit, and it keeps connecting me to gratitude. It’s how I found my inner voice and taught myself to not be afraid of what I was feeling. Songwriting and singing were the first forms of my truest expressions. They “harvested” an unfiltered truth that gave me courage to sing words I dared not say out loud – at first. When I wrote the album “Woman Empowered” (and through sharing it), I connected with so many other women (and men) who had similar experiences. What truly resonated? Oftentimes, we just need someone to witness us, to “see,” so that we know we are not alone, that we belong – to ourselves first and to healing’s grace.

How would you describe your relationship with spirituality?

I am spirit first, before I am a human woman. This may sound curious to some, but I know and accept this fact without question.  Why? Because even as a child, I felt there was something greater at work within and around me. Logic has its place in my life (i.e. doing taxes), but I operate primarily, through my intuition (i.e. heart-soul coherence). That’s my spirituality. 

How can you tap into your intuition? How do you learn to trust it and not betray it?

Great question. We are all intuitive beings. We have that inner knowing, sixth sense, an instinct or insight that we cannot explain – why it feels “right” or why we feel aligned energetically, emotionally and spiritually – to believe, to “be” the way we are, and to take certain actions.

You see, “aha moments” can find us at any given point. For me, I listen. I find a place unencumbered by man-made noise and objects. Once my external environment is quiet, the mental chatter quiets down as well. Letting go, I listen and then I trust the feelings that come up – speaking through me. And the reflection begins – What feels emotionally safe, and comforting in your heart – what feels good? What feels physically safe? Does “this” feel like home? And so I trust the response (i.e. my intuition). 

I care for this infinitely deep connection, every day. By doing the healing work – so that I remain connected to healing and to not betray this powerful life-renewal.

How do you identify shame-based thinking, and how do you overcome it? 

Shame-based thinking often stems from stingy beliefs and archaic cultural norms, that have conditioned our minds and our hearts to discredit our real and natural desires, needs and visions. Ultimately, this line of thinking is saying what you feel, need and want does not matter.

And then what happens when we drink this “shame brew?” We blame ourselves for the hurt someone put upon us. We judge ourselves for craving what we feel and believe we deserve, and we apologize to others – before – we ask for what we want. Then, we guilt ourselves for not being satisfied with what we already have.

We can overcome this shame-based thinking, by not owning the harm that someone puts on us. Something unkind happened to us – we are not that unkindness. Once that work is done, we keep unpacking the truth and the messages living underneath everyone of our feelings. We also should do the work of accepting that each of those feelings are working to help us heal. For example, shame may be burying sadness underneath a layer of three or four other emotions. And that sadness may be inspiring us to connect with someone who truly cares for us. 

What are some practical steps people can take to foster a better relationship with themselves?

Become your most loving friend. 

Speak into your heart as if you were speaking to a toddler or a child, with softness, with tenderness. Ask yourself what truly makes your life worth living. Inside the answer you will find the core values that create how you show up in the world – first to yourself and then to others. Those values will set the tone of how people will treat you and how you will be treated. And say words of encouragement and kindness. Pay attention and notice  the tone of voice you use, when you “speak” to yourself and observe your bodily reactions, and listen to what you are telling yourself (i.e. your inner critic).

Do you have any daily practices that help you stay grounded?

I live my values every day by being of service to my purest expressions: love, freedom and sharing. Several times during the day, I check in with myself emotionally, spiritually and energetically. I step away from distractions and ask myself questions (some of which I have mentioned above), as if I were speaking to a dear friend.  

Encompassed in all these questions is the ultimate question – have I experienced what love feels like? Am I staying deeply connected to my healing promise? And from the responses I receive, I adjust my operating system – how I think, feel, behave and what I believe is available to me. That is, how I choose to show up in the world – first to myself and to others.

How do you identify and define boundaries? Why do some people struggle with setting boundaries? And what advice would you give to those who experience people disrespecting their boundaries?

Boundaries are communicators, the messages your body sends to your heart and mind that you are feeling safe and cared for; i.e. emotionally, psychologically, physically safe, etc. Or you are feeling the opposite – unsafe, unloved, hurt, etc. 

Ultimately, we are the experts of our emotions and our feelings. We feel first when we are unsafe (i.e. feeling anxious, hurt, threatened, etc.). Our bodies send that message of truth. And because we cannot change what we are not aware of,  that’s why we must first listen “for” ourselves. 

To identify your boundaries, you must first understand who you are, and what you need to feel safe, cared for and protected. And what you need to change. Next, you make a choice – to communicate what you need, or you intentionally cause yourself to suffer by not communicating what you need. You choose and then you decide what you value and the standards of behavior you will not tolerate from yourself and others. Then, you communicate all this in plain simple words to yourself and to others.

If your boundaries are being disrespected, take a moment to process what you are feeling and why this may have occurred. Then, create space between what you feel and the action you take or words you use. Remember, others cannot intuit what you need. We are responsible for our desires and needs. 

If you’re feeling disrespected, discern how much of that feeling is due to miscommunication. Then “right” the situation by communicating in no uncertain terms what you need, and the consequences of the actions (i.e. the disrespect caused).  Sometimes this is easier said than done, but it is our sacred duty to practice and master this love-lesson if we desire to support ourselves emotionally.

Why is it so hard for some people to forgive themselves?

We are not taught the power of valuing or trusting ourselves. However, shame and guilt are reinforced when we “fail” to meet the standards that others set for us; i.e. adhering to who we “should be.” That’s why we must become the creator of what love feels and moves like through our healing.   

And so, because we are living someone else’s version of our lives, we invalidate how we feel. We tell ourselves we are “wrong,” and we berate and beat up ourselves for not knowing that our feelings are legitimate.  

Then what happens? We don’t realize or notice the little, tiny things that compound into self-hurt, self-abuse and hopelessness. We are not homeless within. We are hope-filled and purposeful. 

And healing gives us that great freedom to create the love and self-acceptance we truly need. We value and validate ourselves. What we value, we take care of. And through this healing, we forgive ourselves.  

I believe that forgiveness is love’s mother. Tapping into your inner child helps us to let go of the hurt, anger and resentment that keeps us stuck.

Forgiveness, helps us to accept all our parts, even our children called shame, resentment, fear, etc. With healing, we learn to step into the nourishing arms of love’s mother (forgiveness) and empty our hurts, sharing our hopes, and celebrating our becoming the home we never want to run away from.

Marissa DeCuir

A former award-winning journalist with national exposure, Marissa now oversees the day-to-day operation of the Books Forward author branding and book marketing firm, along with our indie publishing support sister company Books Fluent.

Born and bred in Louisiana, currently living in New Orleans, she has lived and developed a strong base for our company and authors in Chicago and Nashville. Her journalism work has appeared in USA Today, National Geographic and other major publications. She is now interviewed by media on best practices for book marketing.

booksforward.com/about-us/marissa-decuir/