Ballet dancer’s memoir takes readers behind the scenes of The Nutcracker, finding meaning on stage and off


OAKLAND, CA – In this stylishly-ambitious memoir, Janine Kovac blends her personal life with the events in ballet’s most famous show: “The Nutcracker.”

“The Nutcracker Chronicles” (She Writes Press, Nov. 12, 2024) tells the story of Janine’s pursuit of an elusive dream that compels her to endure blistered toes, weekly weigh-ins, second-hand pointe shoes, and constant insults from her directors. Why can’t you just dance like a pretty girl?

Janine Kovac was seven years old when she got a fluttery feeling in her chest while watching her first performance of The Nutcracker. From that moment, she knew she wanted to be a ballerina. It wasn’t long before she herself was dancing the part of a snowflake, flower, mouse, soldier, and Fritz, Clara’s brother, who snatches the nutcracker from her and yanks off its head—all in search of the magic she felt only on the stage. 

Over a twelve-year career, Janine dances with ballet companies in San Francisco, Seattle, Germany, Iceland, and Italy, returning home every holiday season to perform The Nutcracker with Ballet El Paso. Despite the challenges of the ballet world, Janine can’t resist the inner glow and effortlessness she feels on stage, under the lights, dancing to Tchaikovsky in the Land of Sweets, ruled by a sugar plum fairy. That’s when she feels beautiful. 

“The Nutcracker Chronicles: A Fairytale Memoir”

Janine Kovac | November 12th 2024 | She Writes Press | Nonfiction, Memoir

Paperback | ISBN: 9781647427924 | $17.99

Praise for “The Nutcracker Chronicles”

“Smart, vivid, and full of heart, Kovac nails what it feels like to be a little kid with a big dream, then fearlessly leads us to that dream’s realization and–maybe best of all–to what comes after.”

—Sara Nović, New York Times bestselling author of True Biz and Girl at War

“‘The Nutcracker Chronicles’ traces the root of one girl’s dream to dance and reach for the divine while laying bare the hard truths that come with that kind of stretching—the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial costs incurred in the name of relentless artistic callings. This book dazzles with vulnerability and vibrates with the unbridled innocence and energy of youthful convictions, reminding us that certain human needs, like love and confidence and simply being seen, are inside jobs, and while the human body has its limits, the search for that single thing that makes our hearts soar is illimitable. This book is a triumph for our times and a tribute to every one of us who knows what it means to feel more than see the beauty around and in us.”

Putsata Reang, author of Pacific Northwest Book Award winner “Ma and Me”

“Filled with vivid, transporting descriptions of dance, from the fabric of sumptuous costumes to the fascinating mechanics of balance, The Nutcracker Chronicles is a true insider’s take on what transpires behind the scenes, on and off stage, and in the hearts and bodies of dancers.  Kovac highlights not just the pure beauty of ballet, but the interconnected waves of enthrallment, hard work, setbacks, celebration, and self-possession that shaped her life from childhood lessons to professional fruition and success.”

—Savala Nolan, author of Don’t Let It Get You Down: Essays on Race, Gender, and the Body

A voice as distinctive and moving as they come. Kovac writes from deeply inside the experience and through it all we are privy to what isn’t seen on stage, for she not only knows she tells, ‘exactly what’s happening on the other side of the curtain.’ Janine Kovac has penned a new ballet of prose that will stay with you long after that final curtain call.”

—Toni Mirosevich, author of Spell Heaven

About the Author…

JANINE KOVAC enjoyed a twelve-year career as a professional ballet dancer in Iceland, Italy, San Francisco, and her hometown of El Paso, Texas. Outside of the ballet world, her distinctions include U.C. Berkeley’s Glushko Award for Distinguished Research in Cognitive Science, an Elizabeth George Foundation Fellowship from Hedgbrook, and the Calderwood Fellowship for Journalism from MacDowell. Janine is the author of “Brain Changer: A Mother’s Guide to Cognitive Science” and “Spinning: Choreography for Coming Home,” which received a National Indie Excellence Award. She lives in Oakland, California. Learn more about her life and work at: https://www.janinekovac.com/ 

Follow Janine Kovac on social media:

Facebook: @Janine.Kovac.Writer | Instagram: @Janine.Kovac

In an interview, Janine Kovac can discuss:

  • How she finds balance in her artistic life and her role as a mother
  • Tips for readers who want to explore their creative side and those who are seeking reinvention at midlife
  • How her creative process as a dancer is similar to (and different from) her process as a writer
  • Her experience being in a romantic relationship with a creative partner, including how to navigate ego and share ideas
  • Little-known facts about The Nutcracker that readers may not know
  • Whether or not ballet deserves the “toxic” reputation it is often given

An Interview with

Janine Kovac

1. What was your inspiration for this unique ballet memoir? 

When I was in high school, I wrote an essay about the disasters that befell a small ballet troupe from El Paso on its Nutcracker tour of West Texas. The essay was published in San Francisco Ballet’s Nutcracker playbill and I have been writing about the dramas that unfold onstage and backstage ever since. But it wasn’t until I married a ballet dancer and we had children of our own dancing in the Nutcracker did I realize that the ballet was like a metaphor for life.

2. Were there any stories that didn’t make it into the book?

Not in the book: all the antics onstage–like the time one of the mice donned skis and glided into the snow scene at the most dramatic point in the music. Dancing fifty performances in a single month gets boring after a while and sometimes the dancers would find ways to make it interesting–from dressing-room decorating contests to practical jokes hidden in plain sight onstage. Many of these stories didn’t make it into the book. And gossip–I left out lots of gossip. 

3. How do you approach writing about people who were unkind to you?

My rule of thumb is to be more generous to them in their depiction than I’d like to be. After all, they won’t be able to give their side of the story. So when I write about difficult relationships or unkind behavior, I examine ways that I, too, might have been unkind. And I focus on the facts that are the most relevant to the story.

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